NBA Draft Quick Look

Real quick overview of the NBA top ten draft picks:
1.) Blake Griffin-Clippers

• Good pick for the Clippers, terrible pick for the Griffin family. I hope Taylor does well in Phoenix cause Blake is done for physically and emotionally.

2.) Hasheem Thabeet-Grizzlies

• This kid is perfect for the Grizz, he's raw, athletic, and got outclassed at least ten times throughout his college career. He's BC's Sean Williams if he hadn't gotten expelled from school. Dikembe Mutumbo without any bit of offensive ability, which isnt saying much. Good kid, just not the second overall pick.
  

3.) James Harden-Thunder

• This dude is my pick to be the star of this draft class. I loved this guy in college when he had little to no help around him and I think hes big enough to actually contribute quickly and effectively in the NBA right away.

4.) Tyreke Evans-Kings

• Young gun mutha who capitalized on a weak conference during his one year of college and even failed to impress me during his high school career. I see Sebastian Telfair with a year of college under his belt.

5.) Ricky Rubio-T Wolves

• I have only one thing to say about this spoiled brat...what a little girl. He refuses to play for Minnesota, I think Stern should ban him from the NBA for life after they waste a pick on him and he decides he'd rather play in Spain or Turkey instead. If you get the chance to play in the NBA you take it and you don't nitpick at which city chose you, stop being a little prima donna bitch and be grateful for the opportunity. If you really care so much about the market you're going to play in maybe you should try to not act like such a little fairy mother fucking teenager.

6.) I'll finish the top ten tomorrow...I'm too tired right now

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Women's College Football...HA Just kidding its Men's Basketball

So Women's college football doesn't exist, that was a joke, but Men's college basketball does exist and I do pay a lot of attention to it. I will actually spend a little bit of time in this post regarding the Boston College football coaching situation but I'll quickly move on to college or NBA basketball because it's more current.
Let me begin with my utter disappointment in Jeff Jagodzinski. There is no ending to that sentence because Jeff decided to leave B.C. before anything actually happened under his tender. Jeff promised he would be here at least, what four years?, and then decided to send out feelers to the NFL to gauge what his appeal would be at the next level. Jeff, everybody knows that Boston College is not a permanent gig, but its not a stepping stone that you can just bitch whenever you think the next level has any interest whatsoever in you. Frank Spaz will more than compensate for your loss and despite your hatred for recruiting, our team will be fine the next couple of seasons.
Now, moving on to college basketball I have a few opinions I would like to publish. I'm only gonna have enough time/motivation to talk about the current AP top five poll. I don't even want to finish this post because I'm tired and I don't know if I have enough information to talk about but I'm going to continue anyway........................i guess we can say I'm doing it in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day...So let's begin with Wake Forest, they are 16-0 overall and have overcome my favorite team/most basketball analysts pick to win it all so I really have no argument against Wake but every other team in the top ten should let me know so i don't shit on you...I'm gonna go ahead and wait on the rest of my picks so I can watch tv/avoid the rest of my picks since i would really rather go to sleep than apologize for all of my wrong calls so lets just call it a do over

Today's post is brought to you by the number G

"G" as in "go get me a fuckin sandwich bitch". Which is what I had to keep yelling at my roommate during the football games last Sunday. She wouldn't listen so eventually i just had to kill her...I believe its called matricide (the murder of one's mother). Ha i'm just playin around, i didnt actually kill my mother...but i did rip that tag off of the mattress in my bedroom in a fit of rage and was promptly thrown into handcuffs and taken to jail. Trust me, there are people who moniter that stuff and its just not worth it. The legal fees alone are a freakin nightmare, my roommates are refusing to post my bail and the sandwiches in here suck. That, boys and girls, is fun with associative thinking...and G is not a number...its a spot...don't judge me.

You're killin me smalls...

So straying from my usual sports posts...as frequent as they may be...I've decided to do a quick one about a movie idea I've had for a little while now. Question:

If Mel Gibson can make an entire movie in Aramaic, why can't I make one entirely in Piglatin?

First off, Woody Allen is directing, this is gonna be a film that's heavy on the dialogue. There will be absolutely no subtitles and the plot will be painfully confusing. I was originally thinking about contacting that chick from sesame street to chill in the corner of each pivotal scene to do the signing but i thought it might be offensive...in fact even writing that idea is pretty offensive...to people of Piglatin descent. Anywho, I already have John Lithgow signed on as an extra so we can pretty much only go uphill from there...I'm still waiting to hear back from that kid from Camp Nowhere but I'm pretty confident. The picture is going to be a coming of age drama filmed with a wide angle lens and a cell phone...its gonna be HUGE.

Jeff George Is Not Walking Through That Door

Alright kids,
It's time for my first post...and since I stay on topic about as well as acclaimed author Kirby Puckett (did you mean Kirby Puckett sexual assault?), I decided to just give you my NFL picks for this Sunday and also wax poetic about surefire hall of famer Matt "adult diapers" Cassell. So fill up your goblets, throw on your favorite robe, and make sure mom and dad are fast asleep cause we're about to get hot, heavy, and inappropriate.

Let's start with my beloved Patriots:
@New England -3 Denver
It's really hard for me to pick against the Pats especially at home but after the abortions that were the dolphins and chargers games I gotta think the broncos have enough fire power to squeak by. Granted, the Denver defense is a good place to get our skiddish Drew Bledsoe protege off the ground...but forgive me of little faith. Jay Cutler is more than capable to pick apart such a geriatric secondary and Brandon Marshall is an absolute freak of nature. I know it's only Thursday but this spread is a little generous, I see the Pats getting choked out by halftime and another chorus of boos for our fearless high school quarterback hero.

Oh Hey

What's up kiddos......welcome to the most inconsistent and irrelevant comedic sports blog on the net.

All views and jokes subject to change.